Divine Source and Great Spirit,
I would like to dedicate this intimate words to you as I know deep inside of me that it is You who made all this happened. Some months ago, I was looking for spiritual vacation and at the same time, a good country to travel to. I found both in Costa Rica during my spiritual vacation with Deva Premal and Miten in March 2016. I was happy with my choice because that country had called me inside and I was drawn to Devas and Mitens mantra music with Manose as a flutist months ago. From the very first moment I reached Costa Rica, everything turned out to be easy, which was a good sign. I met really nice people – for sure the Ticas and Ticos were great. I was surprised that the public transportation was quite good. Every bus I took was on time, with almost no delay. I had expected more of the „manana“ mentality, but all was fine. For that reason I was trustful, and because of this trust, I went with the flow. My consciousness was alert, and so I felt more connected and appreciative. My energy level was high. Nothing could go wrong. I felt safe and protected. Before my spiritual vacation started I spent two nights in El Castillo. What happened to me there was very special.
From La Fortuna I had to go there by cab, not aware about the rough roads that led to the hostel that I booked by coincidence online. At first sight it seemed that I had reached the end of the village. The hostel which I had imagined to be like a hotel presented itself as a tiny concrete one-story house instead. Ok, I thought. Let’s see. Michael, the hostel’s owner, helped me with my suitcase and greeted me nicely, so any doubts that I had, vanished. Again, I felt good. As he explained the usual things about the hostel, he also let me know that I would be the only guest there that night. I hesitated for a moment: Alone in a hostel in an absolutely new environment? But immediately, my doubts disappeared again. I had nothing more to worry about. I trusted the moment again. We talked for a while and continued talking the next day. I found him to be very nice, warm-hearted, and opened. The next day he gave me a ride to the small village La Fortuna because there was no bus at that time. We talked quite openly as friends do. He told me about his projects and eventually, we both opened up to each other and shared more intimate things about our lives. It was so nice to spend a little time with someone who was easy to talk to.
And then, the magic happened! I felt as if something had hit me. As if I was touched by another soul. As if I was kissed by love. Then, some kind of energy came to me, invading my whole self and consciousness. It was intense and the moment felt right. I fell into love but it was non-physical, spiritual love.
I was in love with the moment of meeting him.
It felt as I was connected to this soul. I felt reconnected to something. I wasn’t ready to figure out what that was. I felt renewed. I was touched by his way of being, his authentic self. By how he related to life. I felt taken to a higher level. I melted into the feeling of being at the right place at the right time with the right person. I learned again that the most important thing in life is to be ourself. Nothing more. It is just that easy. Right from the start, he made me feel as though we were friends. I felt at ease with him. That was the gift I got from him. That was a sweet feeling.
I went on with my vacation at the beach. Again, I found the best place to stay. An almost empty beach, with a hotel managed by a young team. All the guys I met were open, funny and customer minded in a very special way. In the evenings, they showed music videos on an improvised screen made of a white linen, which was fun. I discovered new music there which touched my heart. That was the gift I got from them.
Suddenly I heard from Shivratri, a holy date to honor the Indian god Shiva. I decided to follow a diet for 2 and a half days, so I ate just fruits during such period, sat at the beach meditating, and being satisfied with being on my own.
As this time went by, I greeted the new days by having fun at the beach and enjoying a beer sometimes.
Finally it was time for my retreat. This was the most special, extraordinary and intense experience in my life. Every day we started with Yoga. Our Yoga teacher Diane taught me some really intense yoga lessons that I never had before. Her way of guiding us with her gentle voice and just the right words fully wrapped me. It felt like the taste of honey. It strengthened my body and my soul. That was the gift I got from her.
We had sessions with Deva and Miten in the mornings and in the evenings, and meditation in the afternoons, as well as talks with both of them and Manose. The people in the group were kind and made me feel accepted and loved. In total there were more than a hundred of us: like minded people, sitting in a circle, singing and chanting together. It was such a nourishing and supportiv experience. Pure life. Pura vida. That was the gift I got from the group.
In our free time we met at the ocean side, or in the magnificent accomodation. For the duration of my stay I lived in a tent. It was a wonderful feeling to be surrounded by pure nature. In the mornings we were awaken by the monkeys cheerful screamings. Perfect timing to start my early morning meditation.
While practicing my meditation and our practice with the Group I was reminded of my intense experience in el Castillo.
It came back to me in waves. I was overfloaded by the feeling. I felt overwhelmed. Again I melted into the feeling of love. I was engulfed by love. The non -physical, spiritual love that we all long for. It made me cry at times. It felt so good and right. It was like a blessing. The feeling was very powerful.
Divine Source, Great Spirit please let me share this with You now, as I am aware of your infinite wisdom:
While I was together with my new found family I discovered another feeling. I wanted to have more of the feeling I had experienced in el Castillo. I missed the new friend I had had the experience with. My heart yearned for more of these experiences. The longing for love increased. Was I greedy? Did I fall back into a state where I felt the lack of love? Was this the needy part within me? These thoughts made me feel incomplete. I would have prefered to stay in balance, to be fine.
I missed the feeling of being in fulfillment. Therefore I got in touch with my inner self. I then discovered the meaning of longing for something. All of a sudden I understood that what I had thought to be greed and need, were in reality my wish to share my love. My ability to share love and not holding back anything. The ability to say I love you frankly and heartfelt. Without expecting anything in return. I let go old thought patterns. It is right to be loved and it is right to love. To be embedded in the most profound, uplifting and empowering feeling we have on earth. I loved the state of love. I savoured the possibility of being able to share my inner love. To build up the courage to say what is within me.
With this new insight I felt renewed. Complete. The lesson I learned here was definitely to have faith. To keep the faith. To allow myself to express my deepest feelings. To allow fear to show up. Fear is our reminder. If we are afraid of losing something, we are immediatly on the search for possibilities to hold on to it. That is the way our mind works: It tells us hat experiencing a loss will make us feel bad. A feeling which can only be fulfilled by others. A wrong condition. That is the wrong state of mind. I realised that I alone am responsible for my condition. I understood that I loved the state of being in love no matter what. I saw clearly that my fear of overwhelming other People with my emotions was not nessesary. I decided to think that the other person would either be capable of dealing with them or would otherwise choose not to pay attention to them.
Thank You Divine Source for made me delve into this. Thank You for letting me partake of Your wisdom through this lesson. I realise that it was wrong to have been separated from You. Thank You to arrange everything in advance. I appreciate the way, You conciously prepare my life again and again. The way you allow circumstances, people and experiences to come together and to merge into an harmonious whole. Supporting me to live my life to the fullest.
I am deeply grateful. I am now on my way to let my inner love flow. I gave up resistance. I allow myself to get used to it. To ripen into it. To mature with it. With inescapable love. Undeniable love. Infinite love. I will let it flow and share whenever it is possible.
My Divine Source, Great Spirit, I have learned from you that my wish to embrace life, to express my inner love and to shine my light is natural.
This is who I am.